Lloyd’s Rants

Prepare to be offended…..and then laugh about it!

The Pooter

I promised myself all day that I wouldn’t work on this today – the good folks here at TMT, myself included, have all contracted some rare virus thing.  Hit the executive staff pretty well, hit the gimp even worse, but slammed good old Lloyd around like Captain Trips.  Being so close to Kwanzaa, I thought perhaps it was that nasty strain of E-Bama that’s been rumored to be headed towards DC, but it was ruled out when they determined that I never expose myself to a high enough bullshit level to have it evolve.  Still means fevered, congested and coughy writing may only make sense to me in the morning.  We’ll see.


I ran across something this morning which has had me laughing like Renfield every time I look at it.  It’s a series of videos put together by a guy named Jack Vale, who has invented a device he calls “The Pooter”.  (NO, I am not going to tell you what I was actually searching for when I ran across it.)

Essentially, The Pooter is a little squeezy gizmo that you hold in one hand, squeeze, and it produces very unique, individual and realistic noises which are supposed to portray flatulence.  That’s “Fart” for all you non-elites.

He then carrys this thing around, mostly into stores, malls and (yay!) restaurants, and “farts” at people at random, and captures their reactions on video to post back on Youtube. (a sample’s at the bottom of this post)

By the time I had gotten to episode 45 “Farting in the Chinese Restaurant”, I thought perhaps my cough-weary ab muscles were going to rip themselves into shreds.  Twice I had people stick their head in my door to see if I was okay.   I may SAY “LOL” a lot, but I don’t actually “LoL” when I say it.  This time I was LMAO and that just doesn’t seem to do it justice.  The reactions to this prank are pure gold.

I don’t understand many of them.  Some folks don’t even react.  They don’t blink, they don’t move, nothing.  And you KNOW they heard it.  You people already know how I feel about farts.

Many people jerk their head around as if it were a gunshot.  These folks are trying to figure out the source.  When they locate the source, they tend to look at him as if he were an alien.  Do these people NOT fart?

Some cleverly delay their head turn so as to throw off those who think they are reacting to the fart.  Very ninja-like.  Old people favor this reaction a lot.

Many seek to make facial recognition with the guy – they want to see the face.  What amazes me is that many STILL will look DOWN, towards the guy’s butt.  What the FUCK are they looking for?  A stain?  Evidence?  Are they afraid he has opened a vent?  Green smoke?  I can’t believe the number of people who instinctively glance down to see if, perhaps, there was some visual to go with the audio, secretly hoping that sound was (or maybe wasn’t) the only thing that came out.

Several bolt, a few chastise him, many laugh.  If I’m ever within earshot, you’ll know me.  I’ll be the one vacating the premises, warning everyone within earshot and generally making a scene.

In the meantime, I’m asking Santa for a Pooter.  You can order them on The Pooter dot Net.

Here’s one of my favorites to get you started, but I encourage you to catch the rest of them here.


December 15, 2008 - Posted by | Candid Camera, Fart, Funny, Prank, Technology, The Pooter, video | , ,


  1. Our ever increasing crude, lack of etiquette society yields to yet another inane device labeled: the Pooter. It’s perplexing that grown men (Jack Vale) can’t escape the moronic escapades of a junior high schooler. What’s the point Mr. Vale? Many find this, what I label, “toilet humor” as wizardry that excites the under developed intellect of 12 and 13 year olds. Anybody with any sort of standards will find Mr. Vale’s “escapades” with his “ingenious” device to be on the lowest rung of the social ladder. Grow up Mr. Vale! Men approaching middle age and romping about like a 13 year old is positively absurd!

    Comment by Greg | April 28, 2009 | Reply

    • My guess is that perhaps somebody’s panties are twisted WAY too tight.

      Comment by Mobius | April 29, 2009 | Reply

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