Lloyd’s Rants

Prepare to be offended…..and then laugh about it!

The Pooter

I promised myself all day that I wouldn’t work on this today – the good folks here at TMT, myself included, have all contracted some rare virus thing.  Hit the executive staff pretty well, hit the gimp even worse, but slammed good old Lloyd around like Captain Trips.  Being so close to Kwanzaa, I thought perhaps it was that nasty strain of E-Bama that’s been rumored to be headed towards DC, but it was ruled out when they determined that I never expose myself to a high enough bullshit level to have it evolve.  Still means fevered, congested and coughy writing may only make sense to me in the morning.  We’ll see.

12-15-2008-8-42-52-pm

I ran across something this morning which has had me laughing like Renfield every time I look at it.  It’s a series of videos put together by a guy named Jack Vale, who has invented a device he calls “The Pooter”.  (NO, I am not going to tell you what I was actually searching for when I ran across it.) Continue reading

December 15, 2008 Posted by | Candid Camera, Fart, Funny, Prank, Technology, The Pooter, video | , , | 2 Comments

Supreme Court Denies Obama Birth Certificate Lawsuit

Following the recent denial by the U.S. Supreme Court in the Obama Birth Certificate lawsuit, the President-Elect can now invite his extended family to next month’s Inauguration.

Anyone know how to get to Pennsylvania Avenue?

Anyone know how to get to Pennsylvania Avenue?

December 11, 2008 Posted by | Comedy, Funny, Hussein, Inauguration, Lloyd's Rants, obama, Politics, Rants, Satire | , , , , , , | 2 Comments

What to do, what to do?

November 6, 2008 Posted by | Comedy, Funny, obama, Politics, Satire | , , | Leave a comment

My Vote

November 4, 2008 Posted by | election, Funny, Lloyd's Rants, Politics | , | Leave a comment

This just in…..

There are NO recordings of Michelle Obama ranting at a tiny African blog being written by Nigerians in Norway.

They just don’t exist, but, my goodness the drama that has unfolded from this on their blog is mind-boggling.

This whole thing smells like one of those Nigerian Lottery Money Laundering things that run in email (google “419 scams”) It’s got all the qualities of this fraud which just refuses to go away.

The idea that Michelle Obama was ever concerned with a bunch of Nobody Nigerians “working out of Norway” is preposterous to begin with.

As if Nigerians in Norway couldn’t POSSIBLY be visible enough, they toss this out there to try and drive up their own visibility.

November 3, 2008 Posted by | Comedy, Funny, Hussein, Lloyd's Rants, obama, Politics, Satire | , , , , , | Leave a comment

Wasted days and wasted nights…..

I’ve just stumbled upon something rather…..baffling.

Very conservatively, I’ve easily spent over 6 months of my life waiting for computers to reboot.

3x a day average (suffice to say I’ve had my hands on more than one PC in my day)

8 minutes average from shutdown click to being able to use the PC again after reboot.

(some take 3 minutes, and some monster systems (remember Novell?) take half an hour)

7 days a week, 365 days a year, for 30 years.

Wow.

October 30, 2008 Posted by | Comedy, Funny, Lloyd's Rants, Technology | , , , | Leave a comment

Modern Medicine

Two weeks ago, someone we know was admitted to the Hospital with a Blood Pressure of 286/154.  At that rate, you’re 50x more likely to have a stroke than the average schmoe.

That’s enough to blow your cork, slasher movie style.

After one week, medicines and diet change do very little.  Still High 170’s/low 100’s.

Enter Dr. Mary Ju Wanna, who added a very small herbal Rx to the mix.  That, and complete drama avoidance has resulted in, well, see for yourself.

286/154 one week prior.

Starting BP: 286/154 one week prior.

Guess that settles THAT question.  It’s 2008.  Well past time we get over this.

October 27, 2008 Posted by | Legal, Lloyd's Rants, Marijuana, Medical Marijuana, Rants | , | 1 Comment

Bristolgate – The Mobius Bitstrip

 

So, as you may or may not know, Mobius and I, on occasion, do ‘bitstrips’.  Here’s one of our highest-rated ones.  Been awhile, but there will be some new ones this week.  Better viewed at the site than here, at least until I get a different layout for the blog.  Click on the pic to go to the site. Enjoy. 

October 26, 2008 Posted by | Comedy, Funny, Lloyd's Rants, Politics, Satire | , , | Leave a comment

Don Cornelius Not Dead After All

Former ‘Soul Train’ host arrested in Los Angeles

  • Story Highlights
  • “Soul Train” creator Don Cornelius arrested on suspicion of domestic violence
  • It was not clear whom Cornelius was suspected of assaulting
  • Cornelius was released on $50,000 bail, ordered to appear in court in November

LOS ANGELES, California (AP) — Don Cornelius, the former host of the television show “Soul Train,” was arrested on suspicion of domestic violence, police said Saturday.

Police were called to his Hollywood Hills home late Friday after someone reported a domestic dispute, Officer Sam Park said.

The 72-year-old producer was taken to jail, where he was booked for investigation of felony domestic violence, Park said. He was released on $50,000 bail and ordered to appear in court next month.

Park said he did not know whom Cornelius was suspected of assaulting.

A call to Cornelius’ production office was not immediately returned.

Cornelius started “Soul Train” in 1970 to showcase black music and culture, introducing television audiences to such legendary artists as Aretha Franklin, Marvin Gaye and Barry White. The series spawned a franchise that includes the Soul Train Music Awards, the Soul Train Lady of Soul Awards and the Soul Train Christmas Starfest.

Cornelius stepped down as “Soul Train” host in 1993.

Find this article at:
http://www.cnn.com/2008/SHOWBIZ/TV/10/18/don.cornelius.arrest.ap/index.html

October 19, 2008 Posted by | CNN, Funny, Lloyd's Rants, Satire | , , , | Leave a comment

Post-Election Survival Instructions

Post Election Survival Instructions

Post Election Survival Instructions

October 8, 2008 Posted by | Comedy, Funny, Lloyd's Rants, Politics | , , , | 1 Comment