Billy Mays is my Shepherd
Billy Mays is my Shepherd, I shall not want (a Shamwow).
He maketh me buy stuff I never knew I needed:
He leadeth me to find my credit card numbers and to call now.
He restoreth the colors to my laundry:
He leadeth me down the path to needing a “Clean House” for his clients’ sake.
Yea, though I surf through the valley of 3AM television,
I will fear no spills, for he giveth me Zorbeez;
His beard and his voice, they comfort me and keep me awake.
He preparest Big City Sliders for me in the presence of Jenny Craig,
He maketh my head to spin and bid me to wait, for there’s more; my mailbox runneth over.
Surely goodness and bargains shall lure me in during his reruns,
and I will walk on his Impact Gels forever.
No man is an island, and Billy had a lot of amazing people behind him as he set out to take over our world. We miss you, Billy, and wish there was even more!
Our thoughts go out to @ArwenAnaNg, @KingSully and @YoungBillyMays as they embark on Season 2 of The Pitchmen!
- Billy Mays
- Candid Camera
- Lloyd's Rants
- Medical Marijuana
- Seth Rogen
- The Pooter
- Urban Dictionary